


Staring Eyes, the Feel of His Back

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And so, that's why Rei-chan broke his glasses!" said Nagisa.</p><p>"You mean <i>you</i> broke them." Gou didn't even bother to look up from her lunch.</p><p>"No matter how you look at it, you broke it." Makoto picked on a piece of mackerel<br/>before plopping it on to Haruka's rice. "You shouldn't bully him too much."</p><p>Nagisa visibly deflated, a pout adorning his face. "Eh, but..."</p><p>"The swim club agreed, don't bother them about it," Rei muttered, toying with his<br/>broken glasses. "I hope you're ready to take responsibility."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Staring Eyes, the Feel of His Back

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Streamline to the Sky fan anthology a year ago. This was written around early S1, I'm not sure how much of this has been jossed by canon, but it's probably everything. Rei's vision apparently isn't that bad, for one. He _can_ see shit.

"I'll have you know that I'll be fine!"

"Rei-chan, wait!"

A clatter and a fallen chair too late, Nagisa froze mid-step as Rei crashed into the classroom door.

"Why," Rei wailed, crouching on the floor.

\-----

"And so, that's why Rei-chan broke his glasses!" said Nagisa.

"You mean _you_ broke them." Gou didn't even bother to look up from her lunch.

"No matter how you look at it, you broke it." Makoto picked on a piece of mackerel before plopping it on to Haruka's rice. "You shouldn't bully him too much."

Nagisa visibly deflated, a pout adorning his face. "Eh, but..."

"The swim club agreed, don't bother them about it," Rei muttered, toying with his broken glasses. "I hope you're ready to take responsibility."

\-----

 _He stretched his hand out, reaching out for the mass of blonde hair. A few feet behind,_ _the distance grew, Rei couldn’t move. Legs pinned to the ground, an unknown weight_ _on his shoulders. He looked up, gaze slowly moving from the ground, to the_ _kaleidoscopic patterns and colours from the multitude of yukata people wore, to_ _finally, in the midst of it all, under the soft, gentle glow of the overhead lanterns,_ _blonde hair hair with orange lights reflecting off the tips. Adorned in a pale blue_ _chequered kimono, Nagisa walked on, his back towards Rei._

_"Na—" he tried to shout, but he lost his voice, throat dry and chest heavy._

_Nagisa turned. His lips tugged into a sad smile, and then he pointed, first to Rei, then_ _to himself. He opened his mouth, and whispered something Rei couldn’t hear._

_"What?" Rei breathed out. "Nagisa-kun, I—"_

_As Rei stumbled forwards, Nagisa turned away and disappeared with the crowd._

_He’s gone._

_Nagisa’s gone._

The bell rang once, twice, and Rei opened his bleary eyes. The letters on the book he rested his cheek on, the figures of his classmates scurrying out the door, everything was out of focus. He rubbed his eyes and stretched in his seat. It wasn't often that Rei slept in class ― he was a model student, thank you very much. After that sleep-diving incident (that should never be mentioned in front of Nagisa, ever) a few months ago, Rei developed a sort of trauma. Nagisa's hysterical laughter haunted him at night.

"Rei-chan?"

A worried Nagisa was just as bad.

"It's lunch time, do you need help getting to the roof?"

Rei hummed absently, taking Nagisa's outstretched hand. "Thanks," he mumbled.

He felt uncomfortable, anxious. It didn't feel right, somehow. Where he stood, what he saw. He couldn't quite put a finger on what was _wrong,_ exactly, but he felt it ― a slight sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, the way his heart beats just the slightest bit faster.

The world had shifted three centimetres to the left and he felt out of place.

The notion was unfounded, of course. There was nothing that could've caused unease, _it was just a dream, stop being ridiculous, Ryuugazaki, why are you even_ _considering otherwise?_ He wasn't alone. His team wouldn't _let_ him be alone. They wouldn't leave him.

_Right?_

"Rei-chan? Are you alright?" Nagisa asked, stopping to turn towards him. Rei could vaguely make out the concern on his face. "Your palms are sweaty."

He tightened his grip around Nagisa's hand. "Yes, I'm fine. Please, don't worry."

A step forward, and another, the _tap, tap, taps_ of his shoes against the floor unusually loud in his ears. Ringing, resounding, the rhythmic beats accompanied his thoughts.

_Why?_

He was being silly. He just couldn't see very well. It wasn't as if the swim club would disappear if he so much as blinked. How his mind thought it was a good time to surface all his insecurities along with today's events, he couldn't fathom.

If he was a poet, he would've likened the scene to a sight veiled with tears not shed. The washed out hue everything has taken to, the slight halo outlining them, the way everything seems to flicker by, passing him, faster, out of his line of sight.

That could've been the reason why. The similarities were clear, his mind could've easily connect between the two. Drawing dim, lonely scenes in his sleep, leaving him to wake up in what felt like a different world.

Rei hated how these feelings constantly clawed at his heart, threatening to overflow. He hated how he had lingering distrust towards his friends. _What was_ _stopping him from trusting them fully?_

He didn't want to live in a world where his limbs felt heavy, where every movement felt awkward and graceless. He didn't want to question every thing he sees, didn't want to reach out only to miss what he wanted to grasp. He wants to live in a world where he would have a hand grab his when he reached out.

And then, he became aware of the warmth enveloping his right hand.

_Oh._

Rei smiled, a small upturn of his lips. He was absolutely _ridiculous._

\-----

Rei should have expected that his day was only going to get worse from the minute he couldn't find his left sock. He had a system, and his system didn't allow something like his socks being missing. At all. At any given time. It was definitely some divine forces working against him. Maybe the gods thought it might be funny to pull one on him today and have a good laugh about it together, wherever they may be. Like they didn't do that enough as it is. _Like he was the only person out of_ _six billion that could provide them A-grade entertainment._

"It's not beautiful."

And then there's one Hazuki Nagisa.

"Nagisa-kun, please, I sound nothing like that," Rei said.

"I never thought I'd see the day where Rei-chan wears mismatched socks," Nagisa said, crouched down to further inspect the worldly anomaly.

Rei resisted the urge to kick the boy in the face and resumed changing into his gym clothes. One foot in through the pant leg, then the other, _and these socks do_ _not match with his red track pants as much as each other and it bothers him so_ _much._ "There were... minor complications this morning."

Clearly not listening to a single word he said, Nagisa hummed, grinning wildly as he pulled out his cell phone. "I wonder if it's an omen or something? We should capture this moment, it might not happen again!"

"Excuse me? Wait― Nagisa-kun! I'm not even wearing my pants properly! Please don't― I don't think we need a reminder that this happened― Nagisa-kun!" Rei pleaded, scrambling away to pull his pants up.

"Your waist wouldn't be in the shot! It'll just be your feet, come on Rei-chan!" Laughing, he scooted closer, moving his phone around to get a perfect shot. "Stop moving!"

"I will not!" Rei jammed his feet into his shoes and ― upon seeing Nagisa's obvious disappointment ― crossed his arms. "Do not act as if I've done a disservice to you."

"Boo." Nagisa pouted.

 _All this fuss over socks. It's just like Nagisa to find the silliest things to bother him_ _with._ Rei sighed, bemused. There's nothing he could do about him. But it's not as if it especially bothered him, either. He'd never admit it, but his banters with Nagisa were fun, in a way. Their current dynamic might as well be part of the Ten Commandments: _'Rei shalt not openly enjoy Nagisa's teasing'._

"We're going to be late. Do you want Satou-sensei to make us run extra laps?"

Rei didn't know how to feel when he was put in a different team. He knew that they had to have someone stand between them for them to be in the same team, but Nagisa was hell-bent on clinging to him for some reason or another. _Torture,_ _probably_. Being in different teams _did_ allow him to exact revenge ― for trying to take pictures of him half naked (Rei couldn't quite trust Nagisa when he said only his feet would be in the shot) and for hanging off Rei's shoulders the whole trip down from the classroom to the grounds ― but wasn't there some sort of friendship code about P.E teams?

"You're going down, Rei-chan!"

Not that Nagisa had ever heard of it.

"Not if I can help it, Nagisa-kun." Rei pushed up his glasses, not quite hiding the smirk behind his hand. "Try as you may, but I have all the theories and calculations in my head. You're never going to win!"

"Wow, you sure talk big! Let's see if you can own up to it. DODGEBAAAALL!"

Nagisa stretched out his left arm, taking aim. His right arm poised for a throw back, his grip tightening as he started the motion. A step forward and Rei eyed his posture, observing the other boy's stance and even the slightest movements. _His_ _arms are approximately_ x _metres long. Assuming he'd release the ball at Point B,_ _creating an angle at around one-point-eight radians with his current position of_ _Point A, the arc length would be around_ s _metres. Considering the ball's mass of_ m  _and Nagisa-kun's arm power, the resulting centripetal force would be_ ―

The first thing his mind registered was the resounding crack of plastic (which should be impossible considering their location), then his own (not so manly) yelp.

"Ah, Rei-chan! Are you okay? I'm sorry!" Nagisa said, scurrying over to check on his friend.

Covering his face with his hands, Rei was afraid of the inevitable damage. That cracking sound definitely wasn't good. He hoped it was just all sound and no force ― dodgeballs had a way of sounding like an explosion even when they don't hit particularly hard. When he opened his eyes, it'll all be fine. He'll see everything clearly, no broken lenses, no lopsided frames dangerously tittering off his nose...

"Rei-chan! You look..." A wheeze, and then a choked sound. "Hilarious!"

No Nagisa laughing at his misfortunes.

When he pulled his hands away, he found that of course, like always, he was wrong. From the blurred red of his frames obscuring part of his vision, to Nagisa clutching his stomach in hysterics behind the cracks of his lenses, and to the stinging pain across the bridge of his nose and cheekbones, the universe had proved him wrong.

\-----

"Rei-chan! How many fingers am I holding up?"

"We do not see double without our glasses on, Nagisa-kun." Rei sighed, his hand poised to adjust his absent glasses. "Five."

"Boo. You're not fun, at least pretend you see ten or something!"

"What would I gain from doing that?!"

\-----

"So..." Nagisa started.

"Don't." Rei sighed. "Just, please don't."

"I said I was sorry..."

"Don't lie, you thought it was the funniest thing ever."

"Well, yeah, kind of― no, but, I really am sorry!"

Rei snorted, fiddling his glasses. "I refuse to wear this. The tape wrapping around it isn't beautiful at all." Not like he'd be able to see with them on anyway, with how the lens cracked.

"After I went through all the trouble of fixing it for you?"

"It's not salvageable. I can't see how you _fixed_ anything."

"Rei-chan doesn't appreciate my efforts." Nagisa turned his head away with a humph.

"Very well, then!" Rei suddenly said, slapping a hand on his desk as he stood. "I'll just have to make do. Why, it shouldn't be difficult to navigate myself in this situation. All it takes is some simple optical physics calculations and I should be good to go!"

"Rei-chan so cool!" Nagisa cooed. "Let's try it out, then!" Taking four steps backwards, Nagisa did a jump twirl and held out his hand. "We'll start with depth perception. Try and take my hand, Rei-chan!"

With a smirk, Rei held his hand up to his face, where his glasses would be if he wore them. Such a small task, really. He couldn't even consider it a challenge. Considering that his eyesight was off by _ϑ_ degrees, that would mean objects at distance _d_ _1_ metres away would appear as _d_ _2_ metres. His arm is _x_ metres long, given that, he would reach Nagisa's in three steps and find his hand at exactly arm's length. His calculations were not wrong. Theoretically, he had reached the desired solution. There should've been no mistakes. Nagisa probably decided to move further back or something just because he's _Nagisa_ and Rei wouldn't put it pass him to pull that sort of thing on him, because the moment he thrust his arm out, he was met with air, as opposed to a small, solid figure Rei expected to be Nagisa's hand. Taken by surprise, Rei lost his balance. And the table beside his right foot was probably in cahoots with the Grand Scheme of Fucking Rei Over, as somehow he tripped on that and fell flat on his face.

Nagisa ― some friend he was ― just laughed at him, loud, cackling, and breathless.

\-----

"I know how I'm going to take responsibility!"

_Dear whichever deity is listening._

"Trust me, Rei-chan!"

_Please save me from misfortunes to come._

"No, no, see, you can't _see._ "

_I know you never listen to me, but please, just this once._

"So I've taken it upon myself to save you from walking into things!"

_I'll never ask for anything else ever again, just stop Nagisa-kun from getting ideas._

"It's really simple! And Rei-safe guaranteed!"

 _Do I need to visit every shrine in the Chuugoku Region and make an offering? I'd do_ _it._

"You'll come out in one piece by the end of it all, I promise! ...Well, actually, no. I can't make any promises, but― Rei-chan! You're not even listening to me!"

Shoulders slumped as he sighed, Rei turned to his friend. Both his hands on Rei's desk and bouncing on the balls of feet, Nagisa was practically vibrating with excitement. He probably thought his idea was ground breaking or something, as with every idea he had. If Rei knew him, he'd know not to trust him. _Ever._ Especially when he thought of things that might as well be _schemes._

"Yes, Nagisa-kun?"

But apparently Nagisa has a hidden talent to make everyone relent.

"I'll hold your hand!" Nagisa shouted.

"Excuse me?!" Rei sputtered.

"I'll lead you around school! Hold your hand and pull you around and stuff!"

"Absolutely not!" He pushed Nagisa's face away. "I don't trust you! You'd lead me to a― a― a gutter or something!"

"We don't have gutters in school, Rei-chan." Nagisa tilted his head.

"I don't trust you not leading me outside!"

"Are you that blind? You'd notice if I take you outside, won't you?"

Rei opened his mouth, then closed it. He pointed a finger at Nagisa, then brought it under his chin. "I suppose that is quiet true," he said.

"Right?!" The classroom suddenly felt blindingly bright with the force of Nagisa's grin. "It's decided, then! I'll lead you around school! You can count on me, Rei-chan, don't worry!"

"I worry the most when you say not to," Rei said.

"I'll even take notes for you!"

"No, thank you. I'll just ask Oda-san or someone to switch seats with me."

"Ehhh?" Nagisa draped his upper body across Rei's desk, wriggling around in what seems to be his best imitation of a dejected caterpillar. "Why not?! I _said_ I'd take responsibility..."

"You wouldn't be taking responsibility either way because you'd be _asleep._ "

"Boo."

Nagisa slithered down to the floor when the bell rang. Picking himself up, he trudged over to his seat, but not before perking up midway. "But I'll still guide you around, right?!" he shouts. Rei buried his face in his palms, muffling a rather loud groan.

\-----

Gou drummed her fingers on her forearms. A deep inhale, eyes closed, breath held, Rei could almost hear her count to ten in her head. She let out a breath in one, short sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose. 

"Nagisa-kun..." she said. Opening her mouth, then closing it again, her frustration apparent. "...You know what? I don't even know what to say to you."

"It wasn't my fault this time!" Nagisa said, waving his arms in front of him. "He tripped and somehow lost his grip on his sports bag and it fell and it just so happened he stepped on his goggles."

"Which wouldn't have happened if you had paid attention! Weren't you supposed to keep him from tripping over himself?"

"Eheheh?" Nagisa supplied helpfully.

"Don't 'eheheh' me. Seiza. Now."

"Yes, miss Miss Manager, ma'am."

"Rei-kun." Gou turned to him with a dramatic swish of her ponytail. "Since you can't join in practice today, you should do stretches and lift weights. You don't need to see to do them, right?"

"Gou-chan, that's mean! Rei-chan should just get a day off!" Nagisa piped from behind them.

"Absolutely not! We're preparing for the regionals! Do you know what a break in routine would do to your muscles?!"

"Ehhh? It can't be that bad!"

"It is _that bad_. Now, be quiet. People in seiza don't have any right to complain."

Nagisa kept quiet for a moment, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed in thought. He leaned to the right, to the left, trying to ease the soreness on his knees and calves. Maybe if they ignored his exaggerated hums of concentration, Nagisa will somehow stay quiet for once.

"I've got an idea!"

No such luck.

"No ideas! No more ideas!" Gou and Rei shouted in unison.

"Stingy! At least hear me out!"

"No―"

"Let's all go help Rei shop for glasses!"

"Did you not hear what I said? A break in routine would―" Gou tried.

"No, no, see, if we all go, we'd all break our routines, and it'd even out!" Nagisa said.

"I fail to see the logic in your statement," Rei sighed.

"I don't see why not?" Makoto said, approaching the three, Haruka in tow. "It's not like we can train for the relay without Rei."

"You're being too soft, Makoto-senpai," Gou said wryly.

"It's decided, then!" Nagisa got up to his feet and started skipping towards the locker rooms.

"Nagisa-kun! Who said anything about letting up from seiza?!"

\-----

He wasn't in a world where everything was three centimetres to the left any more. He walked, trailing behind a mass of blonde, noting how his hair bounced with each step. This felt familiar, comforting. How Nagisa's warmth seeped through his palms, spreading. Around him, in the air, wrapping and pulling at his heart. He couldn't see, nothing but a discord of light and colours in his line of sight, yet, it didn't bother him. How light flitted across blurred surfaces was its own kind of beauty, he thought.

"You have prescription goggles, right, Rei-chan? Why don't you just use that?"

Nagisa's voice a soft thrum he wasn't quite listening to; it was just _there_ , within reach, a constant presence, a pleasant background noise as they weaved through students and hallways, making their way out to the pool. Sceneries passed by, hues of beige and brown fading out, phasing in vibrant blends of greens and blues. His heart beats steadily, unease leaving him slowly, slowly, slowly.

_Ah, so this is how it feels._

"Wow, you're not even listening to me, are you?"

Somehow, Nagisa had leaned in without him noticing. Their hands separated, it didn't really register in his mind until he felt how _cold_ it suddenly was.

"How bad are you eyes anyway? Can you see me clearly?"

All he could see was pink, faded tints of yellow at the corner of his eyes. Vivid, radiant, and so very _Nagisa._

"Clear as day."

"That's pretty bad. I had to lean in reaaaal close," Nagisa chuckled as he pulled back. "You might as well be blind."

"Hey, we're nearly there." Rei felt Nagisa's fingers curling around his, accentuated with a gentle tug. "Trust me?"

He couldn't see it, but Rei could definitely imagine Nagisa's smile, brilliant and dazzling and contagious.

_I do._

***

 


End file.
